Just wondering if any of you ever come out of shooting a wedding feeling "off your game?"  Yesterday, I had a wedding and all day it just felt weird and I felt off.  The whole wedding was just unorganized, and I know things get crazy the day of, but it just seemed like they were flying by the seat of their pants all day.  It seemed like some details weren't even discussed, such as the order of events.  I discussed some of these details with them beforehand, but it seems like no one else got the memo except me, and so a lot of time was eaten up with the couple hammering out a lot of details the day of at the church.  

Then, there I am trying to get everyone together for group shots in the sanctuary (later than scheduled because of the figuring out of last minute details), and I can't find anyone, because almost the entire wedding party are heavy smokers and they were outside in shifts and then you've got people running off to find the people who were missing and then the missing people show up and the people who went to search for them are now missing....well, you get the idea.  I'm usually very good about taking command and getting everyone rounded up and getting them through the formal pictures fairly quickly, but this time we didn't end up finishing the party/family pictures until way after I would have preferred; I like to have them done and everybody out of the sanctuary at least an hour before the wedding so the party and the couple can just chill and they're not running into the arriving guests, and that just didn't happen this time. So time became a real issue, and I wasn't able to get some of the pictures they had requested because of this, and the couple even acknowledged this.

Then, there was some kind of family blow-up, and then everybody was acting awkwardly.  How do you all handle family spats?  I preferred to just stay out of it, because I thought it was none of my business.  I know these things are bound to happen during the course of such a high-tension event, but I've never run in to this before; granted I've only been doing weddings for two years now. 

I know there's only so much I can do because it's not my job to be the wedding planner/coordinator, but maybe I should have been more of a pain in their backsides.  if anyone has run into a similar situation and has advice on how to handle a very disorganized/high family tension kind of event, (and some of you are probably laughing at me and wondering what wedding isn't like this, but I've never run into this before so and it kind threw me...) please feel free to share.  Thanks...

What a bummer.  I've been in similar situations and without hammering out the details here, I'll just say, "I understand!"

Part of me always dreads a wedding because of these types of situaitons, and you can almost certainly expect something to go awry with the family- emotions are high, stress is unavoidable, bossiness and true colors show at a wedding.

Nothing enlightening to say other than we all know. . .

Thanks for the encouragement.

yea- have you ever had a bride tell you she didn't want any pictures of herself alone??? or how about, oh i don't need any with the girls, and he won't need any with the guys....

really- and i was a friend- it threw me so out of wack that when we got done i looked at my hubby and started to cry. i wanted her pics to be the best! over the top and i felt like it had all crumbled in my hands....

the pics were fine- and i don't think she realizes she is missing pics most peopl have, but it still made me sad....

and as far as tension- it is always there... no matter how hard you try. at my own wedding i promised i wouldn't be a bridezilla, but when i my mom threw the veil on my head and told me i was wearing one------  i lost it tooo....

 I'm sorry you went through it. it stinks, but i am sure you did what you could in the moment, sometimes you just can't get control and all you can do is your best.....   :)  hope it gets better....
 

Thanks jkaeding.  That situation with your friend would be discouraging.  Sometimes it's hard for me to get my head around the fact that some people could care less about having photos of a special moment, because in my household there's a camera going off all the time capturing just regular, everyday moments.  But people's priorities are all different, and it doesn't mean they're wrong (but perhaps they're just a little misguided) But you're right, I need to just accept what I can't control, take a deep breath, do my best and roll with it.

Hi,

 I'm new here, but not new to wedding photography.  I know exactly what you're talking about.  I love to be able to love shooting a wedding, and ameasily dissapointed when people or situations on the wedding day cramp my style.

When the couple and their families simply don't try to work with you on the wedding day, you're going to be stressed about schedule, and about getting the shots you have been requested to get, or simply the shots you want to get.  It can be quite frustrating.

You should make sure to include something in your contract about the client, and their families being fully responsible for making themselves readily available to you for the scheduled shoot time, , thus releasing you of the liability should you miss requested shots.  This can protect you from small claims lawsuits, etc. and the family cannot come back at you sometime and say, "where's the picture of so, and so with me?", etc.?  If this happens point out the section of the contract that they signed and initialed, and then remind them that during the scheduled shoot time, they were not available, and remind them that you were ready to shoot during that time frame.

 One thing I tell my clients is that I am there to shoot them (the bride and groom).  I will gladly get family and group shots if time, space, and scheduling will allow for it.  However, my goal is to capture the bride and groom that day, and I always start with them first.  Anything else although important to them and to me can be made up for at the reception via candid shots if necessary.  This also saves both the client and myself a lot of stress.

 Of course it doesn't hurt if the couple has hired a wedding consultant which I highly recommend they do, then I can have the consultant snap everyone into shape, so I can look completely lamb like and innocent

 Anyway, you're not alone with this feeling.

 Remember as photographers, we are always harder on ourselves then other will be, so you may feel "Off your game" as you put it, but the wedding couple and their families probably don't know any different.  It is however wonderful to feel like you've been awesome on the wedding day at the end of it.  We just need to realize that it can't always feel that way, but also, it's not our fault either.

Hope this helps

I do not market myself for weddings . . . but have done a few. . . . and here are two things that I include in my contract:

The photographer is not responsible for images that are not captured when limited by church rules and policies.  Additionally, any images that will be taken under problematic lighting conditions will not be guaranteed to be available for proofing.  Sites with potential lighting issues should be discussed with photographer prior to the event. 

The photographer is not responsible for images that are not captured due to subjects that are not available during the photography time.  The photographer will in every manner attempt to capture all images requested prior to the event.  The photographer cannot guarantee that photographs requested the day of the event will be permitted due to time limitations. 

Probably still not fool proof ... but it is addressed and gives me something to fall back on . . .

Thank you all for all the advice.  I do not currently have anything in my contract that addresses this issue, so I think I'll have to go back and rework it. 

Oh joy....