Last night I had a wedding consultation with a couple who did not take it very seriously.  I kept having to force the conversation to be about the wedding rather than drunk stories.  They were dressed in white tank tops and barefooted and the groom kept playing with his toes.  They didn't have any questions for me and what we did discuss we had already talked about on the phone.  Also, the groom kept bringing the conversation back to his strong opinions about certain groups of people, and the things he had to say were offensive.

I can deal with all this, but the real issue became when they informed me there would be six photographers at their wedding.  For example, there's an art student from England coming over to shoot the wedding as well as several Uncle Bobs and friends and coworkers.  All six of these photographers jumped at the opportunity when they heard this couple was getting married.  They obviously would each think they are the official photographer and get in the way more than the usual guests.  I already forsee art students asking me questions and running the show.  It's not the photographers' faults, but it's the couple's fault to saying yes to all of them and then also hiring a photographer.  The bride said she just can't say no to pictures.  She informed me of the six photographers in a very casual conversational way, and not in the "here's something that might pose a problem way."

They have not paid anything yet and have not signed a contract.  They don't even know the date they are getting married (sometime in Fall 2009).  However, I am scheduled to shoot their engagement portraits on September 1st.

Have you ever "called it off with a client?"  How do you handle it?  I don't know how honest I should be with them, but if I don't think it's a good idea to shoot the wedding, I certainly don't want to do the engagement shoot.

I feel like I've already wasted time and money.

Thoughts?

EDIT:  I've gotten plenty of the reassurance I needed!  Thanks again!

If it were me, I'd run!  No way would I set myself up for that.  I'd tell them something like "I don't like to do engagements before we have a final date set"  or something like that.  I don't know, but I sure would run!

 Do not walk... RUN!!!!!!

The six photographers alone spells TRAINWRECK!  The fact that they do not have a date set either tell me this is not being planned out very well.

I'm not the most eloquent person, but I'd say:  "Although I really enjoyed meeting with you, I feel like I might not be the right photographer for your wedding. Good luck with your search!"

Also. I would not book their engagment portraits or ANYTING until they have signed and paid.  So maybe you can get out of that too.

 Good luck with this one!

Bing

No advice, but my contract states that I will act as the sole and exclusive wedding photographer.

Thanks guys!  I guess my only hesitation was because I don't want to ruin my name.  The groom is a college student and will obviously know a lot of young couples.  He also comes from money and politicians, no matter how polite and professional I am, I'm not sure there is any way to protect my good name with these people.  :(

 Trust me... if you put yourself in a frustrating situation such as this and try to shoot a wedding on top of it, not much good can come of it.  Weddings are stressful enough without fighting off six other photographers, dealing with a lack of organization, and having an immature b&g on top of it (no offense to your clients.. I just get that vibe from what you are saying...).

All of these things will keep you from doing the best job you can do.  What would that do to your name?

I never take on clients because of "who" they are and who they know.  It has to be a good fit or neither of us is getting a good deal.

Bing

 I would also not allow the other photogs....not 6 of them....SORRY!

These people sound WAY "Hippy-ish"  

If you really want to do it, I say do their engagement session and see how it goes....nothing says that you have to do the wedding just cuz you did the engagement session....BUT I would tell them that you can NOT work with 6 other photogs at the wedding, so if that doesnt work for her thats ok......I would let her know that if she really wants YOU that she can tell her "Friends with Cameras" that you wont allow it........then it will take the pressure off of her.......

Jen

It's funny that you get the vibe that they're hippyish.  The groom was trashing "hippies" and using terms like "bleeding heart liberals"...he was super conservative and super catholic so..the exact opposite of hippy.  Haha!

You do not have a client until you have a signed contract and have collected a retainer.  Furthermore, you cannot have them sign a contract until they have a date.  (I wouldn't even bother meeting with someone until they had one...what if you're already booked on the date they end up choosing?  You've just wasted your valuable time.)  Until then they are a prospective client and you should be pre-qualifying them.  Pre-qualifying is as much for you as it is for them.  They get to look at your prices, packages and everything else you have to offer, while you look for warning signs that you might not want to take them on as clients.

I, personally, wouldn't touch this one with a 10 foot pole.   

 Funny- I assumed the white tank top/ no shoes......I had a whole picture of this couple in my head,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I meet with people all the time that dont have dates set.........sometimes they need to know ahead of time how much money they are gonna need/ how much time is needed to save!!!!!!

You are scheduled to do their engagement session, so why not do it????????? You might find out you really like them.....they might find out that you do not fit into their lifestyle...........or vise versa...........

I say do not back down on what you will do for their wedding though.......if they really want you for the wedding, they will cancel all the other people. If you allow them to call the shots you are setting yourself up for a BAD BAD wedding day............who's business is it....theirs or yours........I always try to look at the other vendors that will be there and think what they would do.....what would the caterers say if the bride only wanted a salad from one vendor because they were going to have other caterers there with the main dishes (basically that say's- we dont trust you enough to you  do this alone). What if they hired a DJ and said that there was going to be another DJ there to also play music...IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!!!!!! So why should you be any different????

 what if they hire you for 5 hours you get there at 2 (example) and you dont really care what the 6 others do before you get there, but once you're there you are the ONLY photog??? Just thinking outloud.......................

Jen

Two words.

Red.

Flag.

 Here's what I'd do. Decided exactly what you want the "guidelines" to be for you to be happy doing the job. ie. 1 photographer, money up front etc., whatever. Then tell them the requirements and let them reject you if they don't like them. Then you are not saying no to them which could be discrimination. And this will also save your reputation. If they tell people you had rigid guidelines then that just means you will have serious customers coming to you.

 I saw that you put up your edit, and I'm thinking you're going w/ the run away idea.   I can only agree.  I could totally see them trying to score free stuff from you later since all their friends gave them discs, etc.   No way.

This is what consolutations are for....to learn if you will be compatable together (among other things).....red flags were popping all over for you.

I'm the queen of giving in...pot and kettle here in a way...but really, is $ or reputation worth what you would have to go through. And even if you tell them you're exclusive ...with that many other photographers....do you really think (by the sound of everything) that they are going to listen or respect that? Are you ready to walk out of a wedding if it's not?

All things I have to ask myself all the time LOL

You may have nothing to worry about - sounds like the "groom" may decide against a wedding before it occurs.  They don't sound like they are taking it seriously.  Reminds me of the family that came in for portraits dressed in dirty t-shirts, the kid they wanted in front wearing a t-shirt that screamed, "Kill Commies" across the front.  Went well with the toothpick in Dad's mouth.

Yep, exclusive photographer, we don't match up for this, or even, whoops, that date is already booked.  Then again, if you do book them, maybe you can get an approximate date for each of their next weddings.